Dating again after a broken heart
My body shattered, and I could do nothing but fall to pieces on the floor. I broke down, and somehow I had to find a way to live without this man that I loved.
While there is no accurate description of what a broken heart feels like, there are emotional reactions and behaviors that many who’ve suffered a broken heart have experienced. According to therapist Joyce Marter, Founder and CEO of Urban Balance, “a broken heart mirrors a depressive episode, and someone might have a decrease in appetite, disruptive sleep, and anxiety about the future,” Marter said. Norrington said, “A broken heart is probably one of the most painful experiences this life has to offer…I know if I had a dollar for every heartbreak and disappointment I’ve felt, I’d be able to finance a cruise around the world…well, maybe a cruise half-way around the world.” Part of the pain of a broken heart comes not only from the fear of being alone but also from the fear of alone—as if no one could possibly understand what we are experiencing.
Finding the strength to search for the wisdom embedded in the hurt can be daunting though.
Recognizing that healing is a helped me to try to focus on living my new life one day at a time.
Timing will vary from person to person, so instead let’s look at some key points to remember when getting back into the scene. The Representative is the person who shows up for the first 6-8 weeks of a new relationship. Of course new relationships are fun and exciting (note: The Rep), but YOU are also fun and exciting!
This is when we are bringing our A game, putting our best foot forward, and being the best partner possible. Take time to date yourself, travel, cross some items off your bucket list, reconnect with old friends, volunteer, visit family, etc…
For example, do you notice that you feel you are always the responsible one in the relationship?
Do you see your partners as being needy or irresponsible?
Because people can sometimes, “unrealistically expect or hope that life is all unicorns and roses,” said Marter.
“People with broken hearts have one thing in common—having expectations of other people.
Having expectations of how someone else is supposed to act, feel, think, speak and behave.
It also doesn’t mean that you will never date again, so there is an upside.
But when is the right time to pick yourself up and get back on the dating horse? We have met The Rep many times and we have been The Rep ourselves. What is fueling your need to jump into the next relationship?