Sample online dating conversations

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One too many big lies can be problematic for finding “the one.” There was another interesting result that speaks to the nature of deception during the discovery phase.

In our studies, the number of lies told by a participant was positively associated with the number of lies they believed their partner told.

The second kind of lies were related to availability management, with daters describing why they couldn’t meet, or giving excuses for radio silence, like lying about their phone losing service.

These deceptions are called “butler lies” because they’re a relatively polite way to avoid communication without completely closing the door on the connection.

” or “If you had to hang out with a Spice Girl, which one would you pick and why? Plus, you could always “accidentally” run into them.

Nearly one-fourth of young adults are looking for love through dating websites or apps.”It may seem bold, but this reminds the person you’re messaging that we’re all in the same boat when it comes to online dating.It’s a great way to make talking feel less like an interview or an audition and more like a chance to commiserate.If you’ve ever texted, “Sorry I went AWOL, my phone died,” when you just didn’t want to talk, you’ve told a butler lie. Instead, they can help you avoid dating pitfalls, such as appearing always available or desperate.While deceptions over self-presentation and availability accounted for most lies, we observed that only 7 percent of all messages were rated as false in our sample. A robust finding across recent deception studies suggests that the majority of people are honest and that there are only a few prolific liars in our midst.

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