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Realize that they may want to go new places and try new things to meet people, but they’re uncomfortable doing it alone or can’t afford a regular babysitter.So offer to take a class with them or watch their kids while they go on a date.
Yet when a single who enjoys being independent (regardless of how much she also wants a partner) wants to find a partner who is more reinforcing than that autonomy says that she’s having trouble finding a good match, the statistics come out. Maybe rather than telling singles they just need to try harder, should try harder to help them.But these things stick in my craw, because the implicit message is that the single person just needs to try harder.That is, people who would never dream of telling a depressed person to “just try harder,” to pull herself “up by the bootstraps,” or to “just get over it” have no problems telling single people exactly that when it comes to finding a life partner. Frederic Neumann’s recent post “Why Some People Can’t Find Anyone to Marry.” In it, Dr.Neuman mentions some of the very real challenges faced by people who want a partner, particularly people out of their 20s, who often find that many if not most of the people they’re meeting are already married.